Dear me,
It's been a long time coming but here I am. This is my life at 26. I wanted to do a little 'Beginners' clip of how my life looks like, just as the start of the film (watch the clip here).
So, this is what the sky looked like on my birthday. It was cold, crisp and very bright, just how I like it. There was a quote from my friend's fridge that really resonated with me. It says: 'Lost: how can I have lost something if I can still see it with my eyes closed?'. It is true and something I hadn't thought about before but found very beautiful. Even when you don't see some things or people or even feelings how can they truly be gone if you still see them in the land of darkness? When I lost my grandmother, I didn't really know how to process it because the feeling of losing someone is so strange. Everything is normal but something key is missing and you cannot get it back. Now I realize that I haven't really lost her because I still feel her when I close my eyes. Not literally, but she's definitely still there.
The picture on the far left is me. Hello! It is very unusual for me to take a full body picture because of my shape. Bigger women in society have such a stigma and normally I like to stay away from it as far as possible. I know how I got here and it's a mental progress to keep up. But I am healthy, I am fine and this outfit looked hella cute so I had to commemorate the occasion. The picture in the left corner is the last film I watched at the cinema. Oh my, I still cannot explain my feelings well when I talk about this film because it touched my heart in such a way that I am still baffled how it did it. Honestly, go see it, you will not regret it. As a person who finds it hard to like people and be comfortable with them, the characters in this film told me all the things I needed to hear to move forward. Last weekend I had some great life conversations with women who I aspire and love, and together with this film, I am ready to move forward and leave the negative stuff behind. Mostly the negative mental stuff. It is strange to hear people talk about age because now that I'm 26 I feel like there's even more pressure on people. You're supposed to, like, know things at 26, have a life plan, or at least have tried to have a relationship with another person. I have none of these things but I do feel like I am a proper grown up. I cannot hide anymore. This is the year where I make myself happy and stop labeling things as normal. I am fine on my own.
The last picture is my to-read list. I always have books on my list but after hanging out with all my book friends, the list always grows and grows. I cannot wait to dive in, gain new knowledge, laugh at jokes and be in worlds unbeknownst until now. Reading is my life's greatest pleasure and that will never change. The books on this list are:
- Alice Walker - The Color Purple
- David Crystal - a Little Book of Language
- Brené Brown - Braving the Wilderness: the quest for true belonging and the courage to stand alone
- Lang Leav - the Universe of Us
- Lucinda Riley - the Seven Sisters
- Gail Honeyman - Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine
Enjoy the rest of your week!
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